Accommodation at the Texas Yoga Retreat

I recently attended the Texas Yoga Retreat, and I want to tell you about my experiences. I am autistic, and I wasn’t doing well when I arrived. I had trouble finding the location, and my anxiety levels were high. 

I found the registration building, parked and went in. I was in a jumpy state from the anxiety that made me uncomfortable and fearful of not being able to handle more challenges without overloading. I was able to tell the people at registration that I was in a bad state of mind, and they assisted me by escorting me to my room instead of just telling me where to go. This immediately reduced my anxiety, because I didn’t have to wonder if I was going to find the right building or entrance or room.

The dormitory room held five beds, and I started to “glitch” trying to figure out which bed to choose. Clearly at least one person had been in the room, and I went over any number of details trying to discern which of the beds was available. It is very important to me to have a space – even just a bed – where I can feel it is my refuge. Having a helper there to confirm – “yes that one doesn’t look like anyone has claimed it” allowed me to set that aside rather than cycling through my concerns of intruding on someone else’s space. It made me feel safe from a possible negative social interaction to resolve conflict over bed choices.

Let me explain what accommodation means to me and how I understand the term. For me, an accommodation is something that makes me feel safer or makes me feel more comfortable. There are other definitions that may work better in different settings and for different people, but this resonates with me.

In the community cafeteria where we had dinner, there was a lot of loud, excited talking, but I wasn’t ready for that. I put in my earplugs and sat at a silent table that was set aside. This is a fantastic idea for anyone who wishes to eat mindfully and in contemplation, but for me it was also an accommodation. I didn’t have to navigate a social interaction when I lacked the emotional capacity to handle it. Some meals I used the silent table, at others I welcomed interaction and meeting my fellow yogis. This was a great accommodation, and I would encourage anyone hosting a conference or an event to have a space like this for anyone who might be overwhelmed or just not wanting to interact.

At one class, we were all sitting in a loose circle. Really more like a blob than a circle with constant radius, but I’ve learned to cope with imperfect shapes in yoga – including the poses I’m forming during my practice. I mentioned before how I am more comfortable if I’ve claimed a space for myself. I try to carefully choose a spot that is likely to remain stable – but yoga is about flexibility. Some additional attendees came and I was asked if I could move to make room. Many times, this can be okay for me. On this occasion it wasn’t.

I told the person asking, “It gives me crazy anxiety to move once I’ve set up.” The other people attending easily maneuvered around me, and the student who asked thanked me for telling her. It really felt good to know that I hadn’t offended her, and her sentiment was clearly authentic. Just then the presenter leading the class quickly came over and for just a heartbeat, I wondered if I had done something wrong! Instead she had come over to me to congratulate me for advocating for myself. I was nearly overcome by what this meant to me. That’s the first time that someone had encouraged me to tell people what would make me feel safer or more comfortable. I am new to advocating for myself. I am new to being diagnosed and learning coping skills to seek reasonable accommodations.

There were other wonderful moments of kindness and support. I came away energized rather than drained by the experience. I left the retreat feeling loved and cared for, from kindnesses that accommodated my needs as an autistic person. If circumstances allow, I would attend again with joy, especially now that I know where I am going and the character of the people I will meet there.